Why men have affairs?
Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from old ages. Extramarital relationships can be loaded with evils, cause sorrow, and other harms. Also you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness issue, funds, age difference, faith upbringing, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating for married.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking affairs. I suppose typically though it is just the human nature, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can switch the wish on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos people has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your family or anybody else? You would need to minimize the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major group, huge truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your assets are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Neglect, sadly this is a ordinary cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the gentleman is sexually neglecting his spouse for a large humber of reasons. As a man I really appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be caring is vanished, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply developed distantly, our common concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.