Families that are happy, strong, and successful have certain qualities that are minimized, or missing, from the average home. Though dozens of qualities could be given, the following twelve must be recognized as essential by both the parents and the children in order to secure the happiness and stability of family life. Leaving out just one of them results in a divided, dysfunctional family. What are these essential elements?
Commitment: First, there must be commitment of one’s life to God. When the husband and wife are faithful to Christ, the children usually will follow. (Prov. 22:6) Commitment to each other naturally accompanies their commitment to Christ.
Appreciation: One of our common needs is to be appreciated by those around us. When we show each other genuine appreciation, it will be returned time and again.
Kindness: We build up one another with our words and actions. When they are kind, gentle, caring, and understanding the result will be satisfying for all involved.
Forgiveness: This is an expression of kindness, and everyone needs it. “To err is human; to forgive is divine” is an old adage we should believe and practice.
Praise: Look for the good, and having found it, compliment it. Husbands and wives love to be praised. Children thrive on it. How much better is it than living with constant criticism.
Communication: Feelings, ideas, and desires must be expressed in words, looks, and actions. Talking and listening are the twins of communication. Neither should be neglected.
Self-Control: When we are hurt, upset, or angry then self-control must come into play. Wait ten minutes before acting. Do you want to help or hinder the problem?
Discipline: We begin with ourselves. He who does not discipline himself has no right to discipline others. We must submit to God’s discipline (Heb. 12:5-11), and then we will be better equipped to exercise discipline.
Maturity: Age does not always show maturity. We must look at the whole picture, use caution, consider the consequences, be balanced, seek advice, and then proceed with confidence.
Time: All we have is what’s left, so we must use it wisely. Our children require much of it. So does our spouse. But is anyone else more important to us?
Love: This is the essential show-and-tell element of a happy home, and it must be expressed daily. It is amazing what can be accomplished when love is the major ingredient of every situation.
Spirituality: When homes are built on the material, or physical, they crumble in time. A house is not a home. Wealth does not bring lasting happiness. The home and family was God’s idea, and when His instructions are followed on a daily basis the result will be a strong family.
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